Christmas 2011

It was a poor year. Financially poor, although rich in Christ.
This year, decided not to engage in much Xmas shopping.
Only got gifts for a few important people who have blessed my life so much.
The rest, I will just write cards.

A thanksgiving for this year is that R*** decided to visit church with me.
As a few people pray with me for her, I am thankful she leaves the service with a good impression of Christianity.
She can feel the closeness in the church, unlike the muslim community.
I know somehow she can feel God even though she still has things in her life that hinders her now.

After that, I caught a movie 'New Year's Eve' with her and it was one great movie!

New Year's Eve is a time to reflect, to forgive, to let go of regrets and worries.
To embrace what is to come.
To do things we never thought we will.
To love freely.
Indeed, New Year's Eve is special.
I want every year's new year's eve to be special.

Sometimes once in a while, someone special came along to make your day special.
To make you feel important.
To make you feel extraordinarily special and important.
It is not everyday and every year however that this always happens.
It will be good if one day I can have a special someone I know I will always feel special with, and whom I will always hold specially in my heart.

And till the day I know who is that special someone, I know that I shall always hold God specially in my heart.
Trusting God to bring that special someone to my life in his special time.
And indeed God, you have to be especially obvious in bringing this special someone.
So obvious that I wouldn't miss.

Relationships are sweet and special.
My Xmas wish for this year is that myself and all my beloved LG mates will find a special someone by next Xmas.
Amen! =)

Dilemma

Piang...! My blog died and resurrected suddenly today!

Been so caught up with work overwhelming.
It never seem to end really.
One after another.
One task after another.
One more responsibility after another.
One more problem after another.
New staff come and go.
Everyday went through like a blink of an eye.

Is this the life I have always wanted?
I really wonder.
I thought life is sometimes meant to be like a fairytale.
Roses are always red.
There is always something to smile about, to be happy about.
The harsh reality is...
Frustrations, deadlines, shocks.
Well, but thank God that I have a good boss.
Enjoyed working with her thoroughly.
Thank God my colleagues are still considered not bad.
They are a great bunch of people.
No glitz and glamor in my job.
Just hard work and more hard work.
Headache and more headache.

Do I want to switch job?
Yes and No.
Yes because I want an industry with more glitz and glamor.
Yes because I want to be inspired everyday with cool stuff at work.
But.
No because I cant bear to leave.
I can be myself here.
I always have my colleagues to make me laugh when the going gets tough.
Hmmm.
To leave or not to leave?

The questions of a dilemma.

Proverbs 16:9

Having a very busy 4-5 months lately.
Been caught up with working non-stop day in day out.
Such that I lost touch with a lot of people in my life.
*feeling kinda country cave suddenly*
Am thankful for those constant faithful friends in my life though.
Chance upon a journal entry I wrote more than 200 days ago in the beginning of the year which states God's promises and calling for me.
Am thankful once again for He answered my prayers regarding the area of my vocation calling.
Have seen how He blessed the work I do, and brings much glory because I am doing what He made me to do!
I really wonder why is it that God chooses to bring such a loooong delay to His promises sometimes.
Is it that He is trying to teach me something?
Perhaps it is to trust more in Him,
Desperately wanting His promises more,
Or simply learning to wait on Him.
Either of these all, He definitely made me trust more in His timing.
His timing is weird to me.
Very weird because I felt His timing is always super late.
But what can I say, He is God, I am not.
So, let it be then.

In his heart, a man plans his course,
But the Lord determines the step.
- Proverbs 16:9

I wish that He will reveal more of the future to me.
Yet, will it really be for my benefit?
Perhaps not.
Living each day by itself is full of uncertainty, but it also brings a kind of expectation as in, 'what is God going to do today?' kind of thing.

For example, how would I know that He would allow me to fall sick 2 days before one of my most impt exam, and allow me to end up in A&E for 4 hours? I can say I have really tried my best to take care of my health, but I still fall sick.
In the end, I am graduating next year.
Sounds kinda sad but...
I now have the option of going to UK for graduation.
And it means I can finally fulfill my dreams of going overseas by myself for studies purposes.
If not for this incident, I probably will never go overseas for study purposes.
And thank God there is one familiar face going with me - Charlie Koh.
And potentially 2 more wonderful gal friend - Joelle & Sarah.


Right now, my focus is really on bringing glory to God through the work I do.
May the rest of the things fade away!

Seriously...............................

Seriously seriously seriously, it sucks to go through July 2011.

School-
2 final exams. 1 sub-paper exam. 1 fyp presentation. 1 fyp report.
Work-
Prep for August mega exhibition of the year. Website total revamp.

B***** h***!!!!!
How am I going to cope?!
I really think I am going into a temperamental foul mood swing this month.
If it is just going to be me, I will be complaining, negative, and everything rubbish....
It's God's grace if I am going through it peaceful, calm & positive.
God, help me...


Life's quote:
At the times when you least expected it, someone walks into your life and lift you up.
It always always always happens.

If I could live again...

If I could live again from aged 15,
I would take more risks.
I would jump straight to do marketing at a younger age.

I would love those I love more.
I would spend more time with those I love and fear less.

I would live even more fuller in life.
I would decide to be happier and dwell on discouragement lesser.

I would spend more time cultivating my interests.
I would master my piano and guitar skills.

But I am not that old, so I will live life again.



Letting God choose is perhaps the best thing I can do for myself.
Letting God direct my career paths, my friendships, my relationships.
Letting God take control of my time and my finance.
Trusting God to make the best of everything.
Knowing my feelings and my emotions are not a good indicator of circumstances.
Letting the peace of God to fill my heart is better.

I live my life again today.
Knowing my God is the Alpha and the Omega.
He knows my life from beginning to the end.

Whatever lar.

Typing away in the office.

Feeling near and far.
Out of touch with reality sometimes.
Out of sync with my peers.
While the world moves on.
And I am stuck working & studying.
What to do?
I am living in the present, but out of sync with my peers.
How great can it be...?

Time Flies like mad

Time really flies like mad.

Good or bad?

Good when I am in office, the pace of work is so damn fast, time flies like nobody's business. I am busy doing what I love and enjoy. Good because I have no time to waste. Good because I have no time to over-think too much about stuff (as I get pretty depressed if I have too much thinking time).

Bad because age is catching up.
Very fast.
Seriously, does it matter?
Well, if I keep a youthful heart, and a youthful mindset, I guess it doesn't really matter.

Time flies.

Like mad.

Busy busy months

How time flies when one is busy!
In just a while, it is already May of year 2011!
Realized that my own blog (and facebook) as well is being abandoned for focusing on my work.
At least I don't think I abandoned my relationship with God, but I guess I took God for granted a lot of times.
Like just talking to God only once in a while, and neglecting to spend extended time with Him.
God, I am so busy, and sometimes tired.
It is erm, quite hard, really.
Anyways...no excuses, Amy!

The good thing about my work is, I have God-loving and God-fearing christian colleagues all around me.
Sure, they aren't perfect, and so am I.
But having them around sure spurs me and encourage me in my relationship with God.

Knowing no matter what situation and what I go through, God is with me through it all gives me much much assurance.

A few days ago in LG, I was feeling quite down and I don't wish to talk.
During P&W, I disappeared to toilet for a while, and I wasn't even able to P&W properly.
Talking to God, I felt really really unloved even in the midst of LG people.
I said, if I just sit there without doing anything, will you really show that you truly care for me?
I was quite amazed, 2 of the sisters noticed I was exceptionally quiet and asked how am I...
Though I said, I am ok, I am not.
It was then during sharing, C* said she used to say 'I am ok' when she is not.
And I realized she knows I am not.
Sometimes, people care but they just did not express it the way you expect.
I thank God for all these people who always show their care and concern for me.
I thank God most importantly for my mom.
Because she gets up early every single morning to prepare breakfast for me.
That is love at its best, isn't it?

Above all the things I treasure in my life, like my work, my mom, my sis, my stuff,
I want to treasure my God much more!

Trust

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.
- Proverbs 3:5-6

Wonder Why - Avalon

Why, why, tell me do you wonder why
Some can look so hard and miss the truth
Some will stumble over it a hundred times
And never ever see the living proof

Well, there's a kind of love the world could never deny
Let everybody see it in our lives

The world will wonder why
If you and I will shine His light
And hearts will discover life when we decide
To let ours go
We've got to give it up
And live the love
That opened our eyes
Live your life
The world will wonder why

Why, why, someone try and tell me why
We would want it any other way
A heart could change before our very eyes
Well, I've seen the difference love can make

Where is the kind of love this world could never explain
It's time to live the gospel unashamed

repeat chorus

If we were living with a passion
What would be the reaction
I know a single heart can change the world
If we were loving with a strong love
Then their eyes would see
And the world might believe

repeat chorus

My Valentine :)

In the past years, during Valentine's Day, I will feel something is missing.
Because everyone is with someone, except me.

This year, I don't have this feeling anymore.
Because I have so many loving people around me!
My colleagues, Hazirah, Fatimah, Jamal and Mr Foo are such awesome people!
Hazirah is the ever understanding one.
Fatimah is the rocker that rocks everything upside down at work (in a good way).
Jamal is funny.
Mr Foo is awesome! He is the inspiration at work!
Not forgetting Yaya too. She's my sweetie. Aww...

Besides, lovely sisters like Qiuyan never fails to sms a word of encouragement.
And Jasmine is the ever present leader who watches over in her own ways.
Not in an irritating or super-star inspirational way, but rather in a very wise way.

Besides, my MOTHER! Yeah!
And my aunt, who ask me to 'sleep early' when I sms her Happy Vday (how boring).

And also MDIS! For giving me Bs for HRM and USM modules, when I thought I would surely fail.

Yeah! The world rocks!
Because God is in it!

Happy Vday, God!

Slip ups

Life is too short to make mistakes.
Whatever mistakes done in the past serves as a reminder that tml's decision should be a wiser one!

Regretted that big mistake in my life when I step down from that leadership position many years back.
Although it's too late to think about it now, it's not too late to start over again.
Lesson learnt: Don't be too negative. Must have faith in God.

Another mistake: Letting myself slip up and say Life Science is not for me.
Lesson Learnt: Never say impossible until I have given my best and seek all the help available.

When I am unable, God is able.
When I am weak, then He is strong.

Life of a Single

My conclusion of the life of a single.

So free... Really very very very free.
I can do whatever I like, whenever I like, however I like.

The only problem is, a bit lonely sometimes.
That is about all.

When I go to work, it is not so lonely, because there is colleagues.
But then, there is office politics.
And where there is people, there is also some degree of unhappiness.

Still, I prefer to be attached.
Because I like company.
I love company.
Whatever kind of company it is.
I just love company.
Except for people who needs hell lot of attention, or needs to talk a lot about their problems.
Other than that, I love company.
Even silent company.
Yes, silence are golden sometimes.
Being silent, but knowing he/she is your friend.
I like this kind of friendship.

Of course, there are certain kind of friendship I would prefer.
Friends who know how to have fun.
And laugh at jokes.
And crack jokes.
And is objective enough.
Is caring.
Is real.
And most of all, able to have a real conversation, heart-to-heart one.
Plus doses of TLC every now and then.
Sound like the perfect bf.
Sound a lot like... I know who...

Finally finally

Today I am feeling lazy, happy and lazyyyyy....

It's my leave day, yeays!
Well, after lazing in bed until 11am, I got up, but still refuse to get up completely.
Because my bed is damn comfortable lar.
Dunno what kind of brand this bed is, absolutely comfy. Cos not too hard and not too soft.
And it has got invisible hands to pull you to the bed, making you impossible to leave the bed.
That's why decided to revise in bed.
Bad decision, I know, but I don't care anyway.
I feel like I am living an Australian lifestyle.
Absolutely lazy!!!!

(yeay, but only for today. cos it's my off day.)

After that, spend the noon time lunching in front of tv, and laughing at the tv host, aunty lucy. he is damn funny.

In the afternoon, I finally made the trip to ICA to collect my passport.
It is cool lar. New biometric passport.
Had a short talk with the customer service officer.
She showed me a photo of her 2 boys.
Wah sey, she don't look like a mother.
Look young lor.
I must be like that also, if I ever have children.
Even no children or not married, also must be like that.

Reaching home, I watched tv abit, and eat my subway.
Sometimes when I watch tv, especially the couple shows, I like to observe what is it that makes a guy and a girl comes together.
Opposite attracts a lot, I realized.
She has something he doesn't has. She likes him.
He has something she doesn't has. He appreciates her.
They attract each other.
When I find my mr right, I want him to be funny, down-to-earth, and very protective.
Maybe it is just a female's instinct.
Maybe it is my instinct.

I rmbr coming across a young, innocent me when I was merely below 10 years old.
Father was clutching me and sister so tightly.
It was a lovely sight.
Nowadays, everytime I see him, he is always tired from all the work and he complains complains.
Sometimes, I pity him really.
But I don't know what to do.
Thank God really that he is still strong physically to work.
Perhaps even stronger than I thought he is.
Thank God one hundred times man!
Perhaps I just worry too much about him sometimes.
Never see him at home...


Anyways, in 2 months, I will finish my big exam hurdles and start looking for permanent.
Really hope to go into life science sales or some other things related to life science.
But I think I suck at sales... cannot lar...
Maybe I go do banking?
Dunno...
I should have just stick to life science degree no matter how tough initially.
Why so stupid take up a biz degree?
This is the most stupid mistake I ever make, and I don't ever want to make another stupid big mistake in my life again.

Means, I better find mr right, before I get married.
If not, I will marry mr wrong and suffer the rest of my life.
And also, I better work for something according to my personality fit and passion.
If not, I will suffer.

So, life goes on.
Mr right guy and right job is for me to discover.

And as for now, I need to study.
Boring yes. But I will go on.
Amy, you are one super persevering & diligent babe!
I am not a halfway give-up person. I will stick on.
No matter if I am discourage or bored.
I will go on, God is with me!