Just as well

Come to think of it...
It is just as well that I do not have a fantastic career and money and car right now.
5 years ago, I told myself I am going to be independent, career-minded and live by myself.
If I tell this to anyone, who will believe me?
I don't look exactly like an independent person.
At least I don't think I look like one, to others.
For I got terminated by my previous boss because he said I am not independent enough.
What the world is wrong with him? Do I really appear like that to him?
Sometimes I don't know if there is something wrong with me, or something wrong with the world.

Anyway, 5 years later, I still have nothing to own.
No possessions.
Nothing.
But I have one thing - I have God.

Just as well that so far the jobs offered to me are always temporary.
Just as well that the PA contract job didn't fall through.
Just as well that I have plenty of time at home to think about my life.
Because God keep talking to me.
No one else is.

In the quietness and stillness, you are there God.
Always there.

If I got a fantastic career right now, I will cloud God out of my life again.
I am sure.
For I am always so easily distracted.
God, help me!